Never Again

shoulder to shoulder
chest to chest
breath on breath
sweat on sweat
forced movements forward and backward against my will
can’t see anything but the ceiling, not even my shoes
flashing lights, yelling, sour smells
no exit through the wall of bodies
elbows gouging, feet stomping, heads thrashing
assult from all sides
so damn loud its deafening
the only escape is behind my eye lids
i’m all alone I tell myself
breath I remind my lungs
I create a bubble around me in my mind
and when the music stops
I fight my way out of the crowd
it was a mash-pit panic attack
never again.