This is my very personal, raw and painful experience with Bi-Polar Depression. These words have been read by very few. I truly hope none of you can relate.
(Thank goodness for medication, I do not feel this way anymore!)
It’s the dark side of today’s daily post – Pensive.
I AM HERE
Standing still, a blur of motion surrounds me
Screaming in my head, muted by my thoughts
Watching but not seeing, blinded by my own hand
Smiling with my mouth, eyes fixed in a stare
Happiness lies on my skin, laughter settles in my throat
Light fills the skies; still it rains down my face
Loved and misunderstood, cherish is lost on me
Simplicity is complex, everything is questionable, WHY?
Living behind blinds, only slivers of reality getting through
Sleep…… long…. Swallowing…… sleep……….
Rage breaks my teeth and scars my face and it feels good
Other’s tears bring more tears brings more sad brings more rage
Sifting through the rubble, mending, bending, repairing broken pieces
Little bodies around me, mouths moving, smiling faces, saddened hearts
Hear me! HEAR ME! I AM SPEAKING…. HEAR ME DAMN IT!
Why is no one listening? I speak into silence.
Back in my world, standing still, a blur of motion surrounds me.
Screaming in my head.